originally published October 8, 2002
I was thinking: virtually every day thoughts and feelings and opinions come spewing forth from the inner regions of my very brain. I thought: How selfish of me to keep these personal brain spasms to myself when I could be sharing them with you, my cyber-audience. So, from that humble thought came what has become known as THE ACE BACKWORDS REPORT. And it was good. Or, barring that, it was awful. Or, possibly, something in between. But it was something. And here it t’was, whatever it wuz………………….
It’s 10:30PM, Berkeley time, I’m on the UC Berkeley campus typing this gibberish. Outside, on Sproul Plaza, Hate Man (a Berkeley legend), Scooter, Tantrum, and the other street-freaks and denizens of Hate Camp are munching from a bag of leftover pizza (compliments of Greg’s Pizza at closing time). I’ve been a part of the street scene here pretty much since 1995 when I lost my apartment due to a trivial thing like non-payment of rent. You can find out all about my tender and hideous feelings regarding “the streets” in my hit new book, Surviving on the Streets: How to Go Down Without Going Out available for about $14.95 from loompanics.com, or check out the site on Amazon.com — there’s about 5 reviews, all 5-star raves. The book truly is great. Which is why it pisses me off that I’m not selling hundreds of thousands of copies and living a life of luxury and/or decadence instead of hanging out with all these other losers and bums and eating cold pizza on a cold night. But I digress…….
What else is new? Maybe some of you remember me from before I ended up sleeping in the bushes. Back in 1991, ’92 I was semi-famous in a minor league sort of way, mostly from my comic strip “Twisted Image” which was being published in hundreds of pubs both great and small. From those humble origins I went on to not exactly bigger and better things, but to sleeping in the dirt in a sleeping bag and eating out of garbage cans. It’s sort of the Great American Novel written backwards. Um.. But you know what they say: That which doesn’t kill me will fuck me up very badly for a very long time. So here I am lo these years later, bloody but un-bowed. Whatever the fuck that means. “Un-bowed”? I guess I haven’t been feeling very bowed lately. The other old saw that gets me is: “He wants to have his cake and eat it, too.” Like, is that REALLY asking too much. Yes, I want the cake, and I want to eat it too. What, I should be grateful that I can have the cake but I CAN’T eat it? “Why, there’s no pleasing that bitch, Ace Backwords! He’s got the cake, but that’s not enough for him, he also wants to EAT it!” Like what am I supposed to do? Just LOOK at the damn cake? Of course I want to eat it. Sheesh! Well, this is my first attempt to set up a web page.Is anybody actually out there reading this cyber-gibberish? If so, please drop me a line via my email address. More later ………..Ace in Cyberspace