Acid Heroes

April 20, 2011

God: Part II

Filed under: Backwords from Ace — Ace Backwords @ 9:17 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

God is doing everything. God is orchestrating everything. That’s why its low-rent thinking when I try and impose my ego over God’s magnificent Universe. And it’s so futile. Like I can carry the planet Earth on my shoulders. Move it over there. “Hmm lets see what this new orbit looks like . . . ?”

Part of it was an off-shoot of the artistic trip. As artist you play at being God. You create entire worlds. Write the script. Move the characters this way and that. The creative arts mimic God the Creator. You sit there at your drawing boards and you decide who lives and dies. The power of life and death. Just as God spins His stories by playing all the parts in the human drama. This world is God’s toy in a way. He spins it like a top and watches where it goes. I’m sure for His own cosmic amusement. Cosmic kicks? What else could explain all this?

You wonder if God is possibly mad. To create this mad, mad world. Or does He just have a bizarre and twisted sense of humor?

The tortures of the world. That’s the thing that makes many people question the existence of God. “What kind of God would do this to me?”

For you wonder: “What’s with the punishments, God?” We imagine how easily He could have set it up. Us, floating on our backs on clouds with halos on our heads, drinking nectar and listening to angel-chicks jamming on celestial harps for all eternity. Peeling the grapes. I mean, God could have set it up like that. Easily. Why didn’t He?

Personally, I would have preferred the angel deal instead of rolling around in the muck of the primordial mud. This half-deranged animal creature. Half baboon, half wolf. Crawling across the earth, scraping for food and shelter, desperately fearful of impending death. In total confusion as to what it all means as I stumble through one weird scene after another. Lonely. Scared. Heart-broken. Miserable. Raging. Yearning. desperate. Hungry.

No, I would have much preferred the angel scene. But no, God had to set it up this way. It’s not that I’m questioning God’s motives (I’m sure He set it up right and has all the bases covered — He’s God after all). Its more that I’m baffled by God’s motives. It’s a strange and mysterious world God has set up here. It’s certainly worth contemplating.

What actually is this thing? This thing we call the world. Reality. Our lives. Existence. The physical Universe we live within. What is this thing? This stuff. Made up of atoms and molecules and chemicals and that atomic shit. Stretching all the way to the end of this eternal Universe. Its a pretty big place, this world of ours. It just keeps going on and on. It takes up a lot of space. I guess that’s why they call it Outer Space.

And the molecular world is like the inner space. The macrocosm and the microcosm. Worlds within worlds. So the universe is expanding from every directions.

So it’s a peculiar thing. This world of ours that we largely take for granted as we stumble through our daily, mundane lives.

On top of the sheer grandeur and mind-boggling complexity of the physical world, add to that our human minds that project all sorts of meanings and emotions onto the thing.

Its a weird, weird, world. There’s no denying that.

My friend Mary Mayhem used to complain: “Ace, why waste your time thinking about this stuff. You’re just hitting your head against a wall. You’re never going to figure it out!”

And she was right. I went over-board with that egg-head shit. And I still haven’t figured it out.

But I still think Mary was wrong. The point of this life is to at least try and figure it out. And I do think it is possible for the human mind to figure it out. All of it. That’s what the great sages did: Jesus, Buddha, Ramakrishna, Nityananda. They figured it all out. Realized beings. They realized everything about what this Universe was about. They reached the top of the spiritual food chain.

And then there’s probably a gradation of the other human minds. From sages to complete schmucks. And in between some really smart and wise minds that could still do stupid shit occasionally. It’s probably like everything else. You got Michael Jordan on top of the basketball food chain. And on the bottom is the guy who was last to be picked on the playground teams. And the spectrum in between.

But Mary was right. Probably most of us aren’t gonna figure it out on this spin of the wheel. The best we can do is try and keep staggering in the general direction of the light.

Its like what I was thinking the other day: How God set up this life as a spiritual test. Testing Adam and Eve from the beginning. “Now when My back is turned don’t go eating that goddamn apple, Adam and Eve. I can trust you, right?” said God.

“Oh sure,” said Adam and Eve. “You’re God. We wouldn’t think of going against Your instructions.”

At the same time, God made that apple so alluring that of course Eve couldn’t resist it. So it wasn’t really even Eve’s fault. I mean, how can you win a sucker bet with God?


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