Acid Heroes

July 14, 2012

Men and Women explained

I’ve long maintained the only real difference between men and women is that women always notice what kind of shoes we’re wearing.  Men never notice that stuff but women always notice our shoes.  If you don’t think so, just ask your girlfriend about some people you met at a party recently.  She’ll say something like:   “Oh yeah, you’re talking about that guy who was wearing those brown suede boots with the half inch heels.  And he was with that woman who was wearing the red pumps with the black fringe.”

Women can sum us up instantly just by looking at the shoes we’re wearing.  Its like some secret code the women have going.  Just by looking at our shoes they can tell how much money we have in our pocket, how large our penis is, and what we probably had for lunch.  Its uncanny.  They can instantly peg us.  Its no wonder women rule the world. Its no wonder women are always one step ahead of us.  Its like we’re walking around with our flies open, totally revealed.

Whereas men only notice the size of the women’s breasts.   Which immediately hypnotizes us, clouds our minds and our judgment, and turns us into lambs being led to slaughter.  While we’re busy watching sports, the women are busy studying us.  They’ve got us completely figured out.

Our only hope, men, is if we can crack the shoe code.  And learn to camoflauge our shoes.  Otherwise we’re completely doomed.

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