Anyways, after two days and much button-pushing I finally figured out how to turn the damn thing on. Shortly after that I found my first porn site (I couldn’t be more proud). Things were going great and I was gradually developing a mastery of the cell phone medium when, inexplicably, the piece of junk stopped working. I tried everything to figure out the problem. Well, mostly I spent hours endlessly pressing different buttons in the hopes of magically fixing the thing (I’m obsessive/compulsive and once I get into a button-pushing jag I’m good for hours to go). Finally, several days later, I figured out the problem. My one-month service fee had expired so thats why it shut down. Unfortunately by that time I had ruined the thing by my relentless button-pushing routine, so I had to lay out 80 bucks to buy another one.
One peculiar bi-product of owning a cell phone is that I’ve developed a weird obsession with taking photos of my face. Am I the only one who does that? Is there a name for this weird psychological behavior? I’ve always had a weird obsession and insecurity with my body image. I think I’m like a woman in that regard because I’ve heard they’re into that,too.
But I’ve always been like that. Recently I came across some old photos of me when I was in my early 30s and I was shocked at how good I looked. If only I had known that back then! I thought. I might have got some action.
Or maybe my cellphone face camera obsession is simply a biproduct of being homeless. You don’t have a bathroom, or a bathroom mirror, and rarely see how you look during the course of the day (aside from checking my reflection in storefront windows as I stride by — Hey, there I am! Cool!)
Also, too, when I study the photos of my face its not just a body image thing. Its also sort of existential. As in: “Who the hell IS that guy?” and “What does it mean to be a human being alive on planet earth amidst a infinite universe while staring at a photo of one’s face in a cellphone?” These are the questions that have vexed mankind since the beginning of the internet age.
Oddly, I have no interest in taking cell phone photos of my penis. I hear thats big in certain quarters also.