Mostly for the last two months I’ve been holed up alone in my house, hiding from the world. Almost nobody in the neighborhood even knows I’m here. I spend most of my time shunted off in my bedroom in the back behind shaded windows, mostly just reading books by myself, getting drunk, and blabbing off to my Facebook friends every night. But tonight is my once-in-a-lifetime chance to actually experience a normal Halloween with kids in costumes and candy and all that.
Halloween was one of my favorite holidays as a kid, roving all over town for hours with my pals until we had so much candy in our sacks we could barely carry the things (no exaggeration). And one of my favorite memories is dumping all the loot all over my bed and organizing the candy in different groups. Chocolate bars there. Hard candy over there. Accursed apples over there. I even remember some of my costumes. One year my mom hand-sewed me a really cool Batman uniform. Another year I dressed up as a woman with a bleached blonde mop for hair (what can I say, I had issues). Another year I dressed up as a bum. Which turned out to be good training for my future.
I guess its gonna take me awhile to adjust to all this normal Mr Rogers Neighborhood kind of stuff. What the hell. At least I had a bunch of Snickers candybars left over for myself.