Acid Heroes

January 10, 2014

Journal entries: “Quitting Smoking”

Filed under: Backwords from Ace — Ace Backwords @ 8:52 pm
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DAY ONE: January 1, 2014:

My little sister gave me some good advice. She wisely suggested I didn’t try to do all my New Years resolutions at once. Just do them one at a time. So I decided to quit smoking. And I’ve now gone an entire day without a cigarette.  I’m so proud of myself.  And I haven’t killed anybody yet. ….I said YET!!!!!!!! . . . .  I could really go for a cigarette right about now. . . .  What exactly is it about taking a weed and igniting it into smoke and inhaling it into my lungs that seems so compelling and alluring at this exact moment? … . . . . . I’ve gone several more minutes without a cigarette. . . . .    Now that I think of it, its only a 30 minute walk to the nearest liquor store where I could buy many packs of my favorite brand of cigarettes. . . .     Its a ridiculous bad habit. Smoking. And theres no logical reason why I REALLY WANT A FUCKING GODDAMN CIGARETTE RIGHT NOW!!!     . . . .Smoking is a destructive habit. And there’s no logical reason why I feel compelled to ROOT AROUND IN MY GARBAGE CAN TO SEE IF THERE’S A LEFTOVER BUTT IN THERE SOMEWHERE GODDAMIT!!!

DAY TWO:  January 2, 2014:

That reminds me. I’ve gone two whole days without a cigarette. …..   Today I was at the local dollar store where I usually buy my pack of smokes. The clerk, who I barely know, rang up my groceries and then asked me if I wanted cigarettes, too,  like usual (they keep em locked behind a glass case). I told her: “No, I quit smoking. New Years resolution.”   “All RIGHT!!” she shouted with a big smile. “HIGH FIVE!!” She raised both of her arms high over her head and we slapped hands.  (It sure is different living in a little town as opposed to the big city.)

DAY THREE:  January 3, 2014:

Three days without a cigarette. I feel like crap. . . .    I’m reminded of that Mark Twain quote:  “Its easy to quit smoking.  I’ve done it dozens of times.” . . . .    I’m starting to think that Mark Twain was a bit of an asshole. . . .

DAVE FOUR:  January 4, 2014:

Was just looking at this beautiful photo of an Arizona sunset.  Reminds me that I really wish I had a cigarette. . . .

DAY FIVE:  January 5, 2014:

Managed to go several minutes without thinking of cigarettes.  I think I’m getting “over the hump” . . .

DAY SIX:  January 6, 2014:
I’ve been giving this whole Smoking Tobacco thing a lot of thought lately. You can imagine. And I’ve concluded that the underlying neurosis is this COMPULSION to fill my life with SOMETHING.  At every given moment. Whether it’s a cigarette or an interesting comment from one of my Facebook friends or a cool song on the radio or a nice hit from my glass of beer or perhaps a jelly donut which would hit the spot at this moment. Like an endless succession of cravings for SOMETHING. To fill the space….. . . .  The thing I find weird is: Everybody knows it’s tough to quit smoking cigarettes. And yet I have a lot of friends who are heavy smokers who regularly got locked up in jail (what can I say I hang with a classy crowd). So I’d ask them how they handled not being able to smoke in jail. They all said it was no big deal. They quickly realized there was no way to get smokes and just forgot all about it. . . .  Though I should add, almost every one of them, the first thing they did when they got out of jail was light up a smoke. But whats interesting to me — considering how physically addictive nicotine supposedly is — none of them complained about any heavy withdrawal symptoms while they were in jail.  I guess its mostly psychological.

DAY SEVEN:  January 7, 2014:

I just want to remind myself what a STUPID habit it is. I mean, taking a dirty weed and igniting it with flame and inhaling toxic smoke into my lungs…. Its pretty stupid and irrational when I think of it. When you really think about it, it makes no sense that I REALLY WISH I HAD ONE OF THOSE GODDAM SMOKES RIGHT NOW!!!  …  . . . It occurs to me how much money I’ve wasted on cigarettes over the years.   I figure if I’m smoking a pack a day, at a minimum of $6 a pack, that’s about $200 a month.  That comes out to about $2,500 a year.   A whopping $25,000 over the last 10 years.  $250,000 over a hundred years.. . .   Money that I could have used to buy much better drugs. . . .

DAY EIGHT:  January 8, 2014:

I’ve gone 8 days without smoking cigarettes. You know why? Because I have will power! I have moral character! I have resolve!  I have true grit…….I have a strong and compelling NEED TO GET ONE OF THOSE GODDAM CIGARETTES AT THIS EXACT MOMENT AND SMOKE IT UP!!!!! ahhh darn it all.  . . . .   One of the unexpected side-effects of quitting smoking is that the beer now tastes like crap.  I can’t even drink it.  I guess because for 30 years the beer always went with the cigarettes.  And now it tastes different without the cigarettes.  It was like alternating between hot and cold sensations (the perfect balance).  I’d have a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  I’d go back and forth.  Take a big hit off my beer.  Then a drag off my cigarette.  Sit there watching the smoke curl into space and ruminating on the strange gears spinning around in my head.  Now, with only beer and no cigarettes its like being in a rowboat with only one oar.  You just row around in circles instead of plunging forward.  . . .  I’ve managed to solve this problem by switching from beer to bourbon whiskey.  If only all of life’s problems were so easy to solve.  Plus, it segues naturally into my second New Years resolution: “Quit drinking beer.”  This might seem stupid, to quit beer and go to whiskey.  But it reminds me of that ancient Hindu adage:  “Use a thorn to take the thorn out of your foot.”  In other words, you use one vice to help you get rid of another vice.  And, after a couple of big pulls on the whiskey, the whole concept starts to make perfect sense. . .

DAY NINE:  January 9, 2014:

I think I’m finally getting over the oral craving for cigarettes.   But I might be starting to over-compensate. . .1417473_756788941005318_2115637752_o.jpg



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  1. I’m glad I don’t smoke tobacco. I do know something about the brain which is very important. Abstract stuff in the future has no comparison to something in the present.
    If you need to give up tobacco or alcohol or drugs the thing to do is make a promise to give $1000 to someone or a group that you really hate if you start up again. This way you’re not thinking about 30 years in the future I won’t have such and such a disease. One liberal lady who hated the KKK wanted to give up cigarettes. So she promised to give $5000 to the clan if she had a smoke. She never smoked again.

    Comment by Head for the hills — February 16, 2014 @ 7:33 am | Reply

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    Comment by Alma — November 27, 2015 @ 4:03 pm | Reply

  3. Good thing I’m just a kid

    Comment by 3136SvSv — March 21, 2016 @ 11:26 pm | Reply

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