Acid Heroes

February 10, 2014

The Woody and Mia show

Filed under: Backwords from Ace — Ace Backwords @ 7:05 pm
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 1891126_819965444687667_722144815_n.jpgWhen I drew this Woody Allen cartoon back in 1992, it never occurred to me that it would still be relevant 22 years later.  I guess some celebrity scandals really have staying power.

Now some people think that America’s obsession with celebrities is a stupid waste of time.  And maybe it is.  But I admit I’ve always been fascinated with the Rich and Famous.   Whenever I’m waiting in line at the supermarket I can never resist leafing through the latest Enquirer or People magazine to get the latest hit on the triumphs and tragedies of the Beautiful People.

I’ve always felt that today’s celebrities function in the same role that the Greek and Roman gods once did.  Celebrities act out the archetypal dramas and tragedies of humanity for our edification and entertainment.  For example, Scarlett Johansson is the modern Venus, goddess of beauty.  Charles Manson is Hades, the evil god of the underworld.  Arnold Schwarzenegger is Hercules.  The Kardasshians are Narcissus, hypnotized by their own reflection.  And so on.

I recently stumbled onto an internet site where they were hot-and-heavy discussing the Woody Allen/Mia Farrow sex scandal.  Allegedly, Woody molested his 7 year old adopted stepdaughter (well, she’s not technically his “adopted stepdaughter,” but in true tabloid tradition lets not overly concern ourselves with facts and details).  Its a classic he said/she said deal.  Did he or didn’t he do it?  And we’re all invited to weigh in with our well-informed opinions and decide whether we  love or hate Woody or Mia.  After all, nothing excites and inflames the masses like a good old fashioned, honest-to-god, sordid, dirty celebrity sex scandal.

One internet poster attempted (and failed) to throw cold water on the fun.  “I think its disgusting how everybody sticks their noses into something that is nobody’s business.  The only people that have a right to concern themselves with this are the actual family members.”

But in a strange way, famous people like Woody and Mia (we’re on first-name basis after all) are like family members to us.  We watched them grow up, after all.  And we grow old together with them.  Its weird but I probably know more personal details about the lives of celebrities than I do about the lives of most of my friends.

Indeed, the line that separates celebrities from the real people in our lives can get somewhat blurry.  The actor who played the doctor Marcus Welby MD on TV said he would get thousands of letters from people asking him for medical advice.  The actress Jody Foster, who played an alluring seductress on the silver screen actually had some nut fall in love with her for real.  An actress who played a conniving bitch on a TV soap opera said she would get physically attacked by fans of the show who were so pissed at her for the evil deeds she enacted.

I remember this one actor on a hit TV sitcom talking about how weird and jarring it was to be famous.  Everywhere he went, hundreds of strangers would be gawking at him, pointing at him, calling him by his first name, and acting like they knew him personally.   “The human metabolism simply isn’t equipped to be known by millions of people,” he said.

I could go on, but I just remembered I need to do a quick Google search of “Woody and Mia.”  You never know, there might have been many important updates that I’ve missed since I last checked last night.




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