I’ve been doing one New Years Resolution every month.  In January I quit smoking.  In February I lost 13 pounds.  In March I considered quitting drinking, but I’m not ready to tackle that one.  So instead I decided to try and get back to my spiritual practices.  I abandoned them about 10 years ago.  I want to do at least a half hour of kundalini yoga meditation every morning.  Its a start.

I’m an incredibly impatient, high-strung personality who craves constant stimulation. So it’s extremely difficult for me to force myself to sit still and do nothing (which is basically what meditation is).  But the 5 years I did meditation every day,  it was unbelievable how much it helped me.  Its one of the few things I’ve found that really worked. . . When I stopped doing it I knew I was in trouble.

I meditated religiously (no pun intended) from 1997 to 2002.  First thing every morning, I’d light up the incense and sit there in half-lotus  for an hour,  with my eyes closed and silently repeating my mantra.  It was fantastic!  It was like every day  for 5 years, I got higher, clearer, stronger, purer. . .  I remember I regularly turned down all offers of drugs and alcohol.  Not out of willpower.  But because I was already in such a high state of consciousness that I didn’t want to tamper with it.  . . . .

But then it was like I hit a glass ceiling or something.  I couldn’t get any higher.  I’d think:  “Am I meditating?  Or am I just sitting here?”   So I stopped doing it.   And then I was really in trouble.

My spiritual practices basically consisted of an hour of meditation, and another hour of chanting my mantra.  And reading extensively from the Hindu scriptures — particularly anything about Vedanta or Kashmir Shaivism.  As well as reading books about the lives and teachings of all the great mystics down through history, from all the great religious traditions of the world.

My mantra was “Om namah Shivaya.”  It literally means “I bow to God” or “I surrender to God.”  The basic principal is that “God is doing everything.”  This concept had immediate and practical benefits.  1.)  It toned down some of my egotism, because when I did something good, I gave God the credit.  And 2.)  it toned down some of my guilt feelings, because when I did something bad, I gave God the credit for that, too. Ha ha.

So, I took a stab at meditating again yesterday.  I ended up spending about 3 minutes meditating and 27 minutes looking at the clock.  But at least its a start.

Like · · Promote · Share

One thought on “Meditation

  1. And from what I understand, the end result of your 5 years of meditation was your highly spiritual book: Surviving on the Streets, which put me back on the spiritual path. You were very lucky to have 5 years to dedicate to your study & practice. I get so pissed because all I get is a few minutes a day to read the “Gita,” the rest of my day my intellect is caught up in the unpleasant tasks of day to day survival. Every time I try to unplug from the rat race to dedicate my time to straightening out my insanity, reading those beautiful ancient scriptures,& meditating, circumstances seem to conspire against this & I get mortally I’ll, or some shit. As I told you before, I can see karma at work in all aspects of my life, & it pisses me off that predominant karmic currents (along with western culture’s expectations) seem to keep me from that awesome spiritual journey you described. I am perpetually locked in hellish karmic whirlwinds. Oh well, maybe in the next life.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s