Chelsea Clinton announced her pregnancy today. According to a statement released by her press secretary, the pregnancy was the result of a coalition between a Democratic sperm joining with a Democratic egg. resulting in conception. While the effect of the Clinton pregnancy on the 2104 mid-term elections is being hotly debated by political insiders, the latest polls indicated that there’s a 50% chance that the baby would be either a boy or a girl. When reached for a comment, Bill Clinton blamed the Koch brothers for “corrupting the political process with their big money.”
The Clinton fetus has reportedly already begun negotiations with Washington DC lobbyists, PACS and special interest groups in anticipation of a possible presidential run in year 2052.
Meanwhile, Chelsea Clinton’s husband and alleged impregnator, Marc Mezvinksy, testified under oath before Congress, and categorically stated: “Yes, I did have sex with that woman.”