Jesus Christ at the plate, two outs, bottom of the ninth, bases loaded, and the rangy lefthander Satan is on the mound.
Backwords: It’s been one of the all-time great games thus far. A classic battle of good versus evil. Ace Backwords here with my fellow sportscasters Shannon Wheeler, Peter Jones and Mario Grillo.
Wheeler: Let he who is without sin throw the first ball.
Jones: Who’s on first?
Grillo: Hitler’s on third. Idi Amin’s in left.
Backwords: Charlie “Chuck” Manson has been playing a mean shortstop.
Jones: Pol Pot behind the plate.
Grillo: Biggus Dickus “pitching” in the bullpen.
Backwords: Joseph Stalin the manager. Anybody who makes an error, Stalin takes ’em out back and shoots them in the head. Stalin is tough but fair. . . Ty Cobb in right field. He alway was kind of a bastard.
Jones: Pol Pot signals for a curveball . . . Satan shakes him off. . . Here’s the OH, its that wicked spitter. Jesus checks his swing. Did he go around? They look to 1rst base. . . 1rst base ump shakes his head. . . Count three balls and two strikes.
Grillo: What’s this? A streaker is on the field. It’s Mary Magdaleen.
Backwords: Hell of a game! The count is 3 and 2. Bases loaded. Bottom of the ninth. Satan goes through his wind-up. The pitch. Jesus Christ blasts it! Its going. . . going. . . GONE!! A grand slam home run for Jesus Christ!! The fans are going absolutely crazy!! You’d think they had died and gone to heaven!! Christ has won the game!! . . . But wait. The commissioner, God Himself, has just taken over the microphone. God has just announced the results of Jesus Christ’s drug test. Christ has tested positive for steroids. . . Damn! Looks like they’ll have to put a goddamn asterick after this game.