I’ve been thinking lately about some of the stupid things I used to do when I was taking drugs. Now pot, I can’t think of too many stupid things I did on pot. Mostly because, when I was stoned on pot, I mostly just sat there in my chair for long stretches of time going “Huh. . . . . ” But I remember one time.
This friend of mine had just scored this paper bag full of freshly harvested, leafy pot. Unfortunately it was too damp to actually smoke. But we were resourceful and diligent potheads and we soon came up with a savvy solution to our dilemma.
“We could go to the 7-11 down the street and stick the weed into the microwave until it’s fully dried,” said my friend.
“A marvelous idea,” I concurred.
“It’s always revvin’ at 7-11,” said my friend, cleverly.
“One more minute and that oughta’ do it,” said my friend, with a big smile of eminent success.
Well, that last minute made it smokable all right. In fact the paper bag burst into flames right inside the microwave.
“Holy shit!” gasped my friend.
He pulled the flaming bag of weed out of the microwave and whacked the flames out with his hands. And then he grabbed the smoldering, smoking bag of weed, and we made a mad dash for the front door. No doubt leaving a trail of pot smoke in our wake. I’m sure that 7-11 wreaked of pot for the next several hours.
We had moved so fast, I don’t think the clerk even knew what happened until we were out the door and high-tailing it down the street. But I didn’t go back to that 7-11 for several months afterwards just to be on the safe side.
I swear to God, sometimes my life seems like a very bad Cheech and Chong movie.