A bad dream

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I keep having these disturbing dreams.  Last night I dreamed that my life was a series of unhappy and unsatisfying scenes.  An endless series of them.  Like my life, and this world that I live in, was just no damn good.  Near the end of the dream I’m walking through this strange town.  In the middle of yet another unhappy, pointless scene.  Like a Myth of Sisyphus deal.  And I’m finally just worn down by the pointless toil of my life.  I feel myself running out of gas.  Like I’m on my last legs.   Like I don’t have enough energy or motivation to keep trudging onwards in these pointless circles.  I just want to lay down right there on the sidewalk and give up.  But knowing that I can’t stop here.   In this strange place, in this strange town.  Knowing I have to keep moving forward.  Even as there isn’t anything to move forward to.  I’m a zombie trapped in a zombie world. . . .  And then I woke up.   And it wasn’t just a dream.  It was my real life, too.

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One thought on “A bad dream

  1. The Buddhists classify those kinds of dreams & experiences as “the animal realm.” There are also hellish realms, hungry ghost realms, human realms, & diva realms. These are all transitory states that we move in & out of based on karma, but I know the animal realm well. This realm includes depression, a sense of futility, & a strong since of being lost. Dreams include a lot of wandering (especially in strange towns). The animal realm is much better than the hungry ghost or hellish realms.

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