Acid Heroes

January 23, 2015

Life is but a dream. And maybe death is waking up from that dream

 

 

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More depressing blogs from good ole Ace Backwords!

 I keep thinking about this dream I had a couple months ago.

I’m wandering around in this strange town.  It’s not so much that I’m lost.  There’s nowhere in particular I’m trying to get to.  It’s like there’s NOWHERE in this world where I belong.  No place to get to.  No place for me to alight. My life has no direction or meaning.  So I’m just sort of wandering aimlessly in circles.  Desperately hoping I’ll find something — anything! — that I can connect to around the next street corner.  But I’m getting tireder and tireder.  As I trudge through this zombie twilight zone landscape.  From nowhere to nowhere.  Finally, I just run out of gas.  I don’t have the strength, or the will, to keep going.  To keep enduring the pointless exercise that is my life.  I lie down right there on the sidewalk.  I keep telling myself, I’ve got to get up.  I’ve got to keep going.  Keep searching for a better place.  I can’t just lie here on the sidewalk.  But I’ve run out of gas.  I can’t rouse myself to keep striving to go on.

Then I woke up.  I was kind of stunned by the dream.  Like it was a premonition of my death.  And how I’ll die.

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8 Comments »

  1. “…a tale told by an idiot, full of sound & fury, signifying…”????

    Comment by Jon — January 24, 2015 @ 6:26 pm | Reply

    • . . . signifying everything

      Comment by Ace Backwords — January 24, 2015 @ 8:29 pm | Reply

  2. I would feel very bad if you died. You help me a lot even at a distance. Your blogs and then your comments and emails help a lot. And what about the cats? You have a lot more going on than a lot of people
    I would describe your mind is somewhat exquisite. But exquisite in someway that you are sadistically choking yourself to death for no reason. Talk about bad self-esteem…

    Comment by Richard List — January 25, 2015 @ 3:33 am | Reply

    • I appreciate your heart-felt response. To me, with my life, it always seems to be working on two levels simaltaneously: 1) Its this Myth of Sisyphus deal. Endless, pointless, meaningless toil pushing the boulder up the hill to no end. 2) And this incredibly meaningful, awesome, mind-boggling, awesome experience.

      Its weird how its both at the same time.

      Comment by Ace Backwords — January 25, 2015 @ 4:57 am | Reply

      • Eat the Boulder. Do not push it up the hill. Let it roll down the hill. Pat Hartman lives near Boulder, Colorado
        Coincidence? Perhaps…

        Comment by Richard List — January 26, 2015 @ 5:53 am

  3. Maybe life has no ultimate meaning. So lot… We make our own meaning. Those cats sound wonderful. Would love to see them. For God sakes man try to hang in there Will u ?🐱🐱🎏⛺️⛺️

    Comment by Richard List — January 25, 2015 @ 3:37 am | Reply

    • I meant to say so what…. not so lot
      You seem incredibly unique. I don’t think Hitler could torture you as much as you torture yourself. Your mind is also very Sharp in other ways
      I think you have a strange kind of genius. And your depressing photo of the concrete is very appropriate. Please try to stay alive and healthy… Think of those wonderful, wonderful kitties

      Comment by Richard List — January 25, 2015 @ 3:41 am | Reply

  4. William S. Burrows said the Bardo state will seem so much like day to day existence that most of us won’t even realize we’re dead…I hope he is wrong.

    Comment by Jon — January 27, 2015 @ 1:30 am | Reply


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