Acid Heroes

March 23, 2015

The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Kitties

Filed under: Backwords from Ace — Ace Backwords @ 8:20 pm
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Feral cats are generally very quiet.  They go out of their way to not call attention to themselves.  For obvious reasons.  They are “stealthy” personified.

But they do have their sounds.

First and foremost is their urgent “MEOW MEOW!!” feed me sound.  No mistaking that one.

Then there’s a similar variation to that with, with a clucking, purring sound added.  “MMMMMMM!” that translates into English as:  “Hey!  Give me a little attention.  Would it kill you to pet me a little bit?”

Then there’s the angry, guttural, whining, warning sound when a rival cat dares to approach their territory.  “OOEEEEEEERRRGGGRRRR!!”  Translated into English as “If you come one step closer to me, bitch, I’ll claw your eyes out!”

Then there’s “RRRRRAARARRRR!!!!!!!!!!”  Which translates as “You stepped on my foot, you big human klutz and that really hurt!!”

Then there’s all the weird, eerie sounds cats make when they’re in heat and feel compelled by Nature to have sex.  The female will wail:  “OOOOEEEEEE!!”  Which basically translates into English as “I’m hot and bothered, I got ants in my pants and I wanna’ dance.  I got this itch I can’t scratch, in other words, let’s get it on, Tommy, I think I love you.” . . .    The tom cat will answer back in kind:  “OOOOOOEEEEE!!”  Which I think means, “We got a beautiful thing goin’ here, baby.  Let’s not blow it.  Your eyes are like limpid pearls.”  Then, both the male and female start wailing together.  “OOOOOIIHHHHH!!”  Like they’re singing a love song in harmony.  Like Sonny and Cher singing a duet to each other, “I Got You, Babe.”

Then I won’t see me feral cats for a couple days.  When they finally drag their asses back to my campsite they’re exhausted, and they lounge around quietly like they’re enjoying a post-coital cigarette.



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