Renting a room


Went to Oakland this morning to see about renting out a room in a hotel.  This joint by Lake Merritt.  I’m one of those nuts that actually PREFERS to live on the streets.  But I’m having eye surgery (again!) on April 2nd, and after the surgery I have to spend two weeks lying face down on a bed in a dark room while my eyeball recovers (that should be fun).  So I desperately needed to get a room.

This morning I met with the manager of the hotel.  This zany, little, older Asian woman.  Now there are few things I dread MORE than having to walk into a room to talk to a total stranger and try to convince them to do something for  me.  For one thing, I give the worst interviews of all time.  I always feel like I’m making a bad impression.  And usually I am.  I usually start pouring sweat.  Even worse, my face always goes beet red from blushing.  I can’t help it.  I’m a blusher.  I can actually feel the blood rushing to my face.  It’s bad enough to feel embarrassed.  Even worse that they KNOW you’re embarrassed.  It blows the whole “cool” act that I’m trying to project.

And when they ask me questions, even when I’m telling them the truth, I FEEL like I’m lying.  Or I assume the other person thinks I’m lying.  So I try too hard to convince them I’m telling the truth.  Which makes them THINK I’m lying.

I told the manager about my impending eye surgery and how I needed to lie face down on a bed for two weeks.

She joked:  “I hope the surgery is a success and your vision is saved so you can see how beautiful I look.”

I said:  “If you rent me a room, you’ll look even more beautiful to me.”

That got a big laugh out of her.  Like I said, she was a little zany.

And she rented me the room.


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