Acid Heroes

June 11, 2015

Life amongst the riff raff

Filed under: Backwords from Ace — Ace Backwords @ 6:43 pm
Tags: , ,


I had an odd scene the other night.  One more odd scene in a seemingly endless series of odd scenes.  I’m hanging out in People’s Park  around 11 o’clock.  Drinking my beer as usual.  It’s an hour after park curfew.    And all of us bums are supposed to be out of the Park by 10.  But I’m enjoying watching some Youtube videos on my cellphone.  And the oldies channel on the radio is playing some great tunes.  So I’m in no hurry to get off my ass.

Suddenly these two cops swoop down on me from behind.  Give me the ole’ flashlight-in-the-face treatment.  Ask for my ID.  Run my name across the wire.  “Last name Labriola.  L as in Lincoln . . .”  Etc., etc.  I guess they want to make sure I’m not a degenerate or a criminal or have outstanding warrants.  I’m being real fake obsequious.

“Oh man, I’m sorry!” I said.  “I had no idea it was after curfew!  I was distracted by these Youtube videos.”  Etc. etc.

When in truth I’m just trying to distract the cops from noticing the cup of beer sitting at my feet like a ticking time-bomb.  Just that one little cup could turn into a dreaded $240 “open container” ticket.  Or if the cops are in a bad mood, they might even handcuff you and drag your ass off to the city jail for the night.  Which has happened to me once before at this very spot.

But then one of the cops said something odd:

“Ah, don’t worry.  We’re not here to hassle people like you.  We just want to get the riff-raff out of the Park.”

I sort of chuckled to myself as I shuffled off to find another, more private, place to finish my beer.  I was smug that I managed to fake my way through the situation. . .  And here I thought I was among the riffiest of the riff-raff.   I guess I’m a higher class of bum than the general riff-raff.  Ha ha.





  1. I was once called a high-class bum.

    Comment by Richard List — June 11, 2015 @ 9:45 pm | Reply

  2. Well, fuck. Who the hell were you bothering sitting around looking at YouTube? Good for that cop. Hope he went to off to fuck with someone who was being an asshole.

    Comment by tformation — September 1, 2015 @ 8:44 pm | Reply

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