These are a few of my fav-or-ite things. . .


I often obsess over all the things I have problems with.  I have problems relating to women.  I have a problem relating to people in general.  I have a problem with self-loathing.  Etc. etc. . .  So I thought, for a change of pace, I’d list all the things I DON’T have a problem with.

1)  SLEEPING.  I rarely have a problem with insomnia.  I hit the sack and I’m out in a minute.  Wake up 8 hours later like a blink of an eye.  And I enjoy it.  I’m like Andy Warhol:  “The best part of my day is right when I’m about to go to sleep.  I’m most turned on when I turn off.” . .  I do have a problem with weird dreams.  But that’s a separate issue.

2.)  CATS.  I like virtually everything about them.  And they all get along with me.  If cats ruled the world they’d elect me president to over-see their functions.  Make sure the trains full of cat food ran on time.

3.)  WRITING.  I rarely have a problem expressing myself.  The right word and the right phrases almost always pops into my head instantly.  It’s like magic.  Plus I enjoy the whole process of writing.   Writer’s block?  Are you kidding?  My biggest problem is trying to shut up.

4.)  MASTURBATION.  I don’t want to brag.  But I’m really good at that. . .  Course I’ve had plenty of practice.

5.)  FOOD.  I could probably count the days in my life when I went hungry on one hand.  A lot of us probably take that for granted.  But a large percentage of people on the planet can’t say that.  They’re scratching and clawing for survival.  Plus, as poor as I often am, I’ve always eaten really good food.  I knew this rich guy who’s stomach was so screwed up from stress, he couldn’t digest anything but the blandest, dullest food.  Poor guy.  Too bad he couldn’t eat his money.

6.)  MUSIC.  I get off on music more than just about anything.  It almost always delivers pleasure and joy.  And this spiritual thing almost.  Where it makes you cry, but that makes you feel good somehow. . .  That’s a little weird when I think about it.


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