Acid Heroes

June 12, 2015

Eat, drink and be drunky, for tomorrow we wake up with a hangover

Filed under: Backwords from Ace — Ace Backwords @ 10:19 pm
Tags: , ,


fb_img_1490224152368.jpgMy drinking is starting to get a little off the hook. I wake up every morning feeling like crap, thinking:  “I need to take a break from this shit.”  I’m full of dread and anxiety.  As well as embarrassment over some of the stupid stuff I might have said or done the night before when I was drunk.

But by the time 6 o’clock in the evening rolls around, I can hardly wait to buy that first beer.  And half-way through the first 40, all of my anxieties and worries have magically disappeared.  And by the time I’m into that second 40, I’m starting to feel that soaring sense of freedom and joy that comes from Not Giving A Flying Fuck.

This might sound like rationalizing.  But I kind of agree with Bukowski.  He often wrote quite graphically about the harsh affects of his alcoholism.  But he always maintained to the end that booze saved his life.  That without the buzz, the release and the temporary respite from his demons that he got from alcohol, he would have killed himself a long time ago.

It’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon right now.  Three more hours until 6 o’clock . . .




  1. As a young man, Bukowski was determined to drink himself to death. In the interim, he flirted with the idea of hanging & gassing himself, & even lay down in alleys hoping a delivery or garbage truck would run him over. He almost succeeded in drinking himself to death. He attributes not suiciding or being killed to the intervention of “the gods,” noting how lucky he was to not only survive to old age, but to actually becoming successful. I would imagine he was a successful suicide in many previous lives, but I don’t know if he would completely agree with you that alcohol saved his life as to attribute it more to luck & the gods.

    Comment by Jon — June 14, 2015 @ 7:18 pm | Reply

    • Bukowski said on numerous occasions that drinking saved his ass. Though it’s also true it came close to killing him many times, too. Ha ha. He sometimes even defended substances in general. Saying that the buzz they supplied was sometimes the only thing the person could turn to for relief from the general pain of life.

      Comment by Ace Backwords — June 14, 2015 @ 8:22 pm | Reply

      • Your comments, re suicide, are interesting. Bukowski said he never really lost this suicidal impulses. Even as an old man, whenever he drove across a bridge, he said that just for a second he’d feel this urge to veer his car over the side. He said the thought of suicide often gave him comfort. That if life ever got unbearable, at least their was always an escape hatch.

        Comment by Ace Backwords — June 14, 2015 @ 8:24 pm

      • As Calvin said, some people are simply “born damned,” & Bukowski knew he was “going out strange,” so he figured he would pick his poison. But he did point out that his way of living was a surefire recipe for a demoralizing & bitter death. He understood he was lucky, sort of the last man standing.

        Comment by Jon — June 14, 2015 @ 8:43 pm

    • During his last year, Bukowski was in such poor health he had to give up drinking. He was surprised to find he could live without it.

      Comment by Ace Backwords — June 14, 2015 @ 8:25 pm | Reply

      • Yeah. Bukowski was kind of “the last man standing.” As he put it: “The jails, the madhouses and the cemetaries are filled with the likes of me.”

        Comment by Ace Backwords — June 14, 2015 @ 10:16 pm

      • I’m not sure if a lot of his readers picked up on the “surefire recipe for a demoralizing & bitter life” part. I remember something that guy Ebert — the guy who used to do the movie reviews on TV — said about Bukowski. They got to know each other while they were filming “Barfly.” A movie Ebert gave an enthusiastic thumb’s up. But he later made some critical comments about Bukowski. He chided Bukowski for steering thousands and thousands of readers down a false path. Sort of accusing him of romanticizing the whole “boozing and whoring” street lifestyle. With thousands of Bukowski wannabes believing it to be some kind of formula for literary success. Not realizing that Bukowski was the one-in-a-million that pulled it off. The “lucky” one. As you put it.

        Comment by Ace Backwords — June 14, 2015 @ 10:21 pm

  2. Coincidentally, today somebody posted a bunch of Bukowski drinking quotes on my Facebook page.

    Comment by Ace Backwords — June 14, 2015 @ 9:02 pm | Reply

    • You found the quote I was alluding too: “the jails madhouses & cemetaries are filled with the likes of me.” I read Bukowski religiously is my 20s but can’t remember the exact quotes because of…years of heavy drinking. Bukowski was “the one in a million who pulled it off.” I’m kind of envious that you met the legond in person. But then again, I did meet you, who in turn met many of my idols: Bukowski, Biafra, Rollins, the list goes on. Take care & enjoy your evening.

      Comment by Jon — June 15, 2015 @ 2:36 am | Reply

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