Right now I’m trying to get music from my transistor radio. Because when I’m drunk, music soothes my savage soul. But the damn piece of junk radio refuses to generate sound. So I’m trying to figure out what the problem is. I jack up the volume switch. Nothing. I fiddle around with the channel-changer switch. Nothing. I change the batteries. Put in fresh batteries. Still nothing. Maybe there’s a loose wire in the radio. So I shake the piece of junk vigorously several times. Still nothing. No sound, no music, is emanating from the damn radio.
I’m just about to give up and smash the radio to bits, and resolve myself to a night of no music. When I suddenly grasp the solution. I didn’t have the headphones on my head. That immediately explained why I was hearing no sounds. I put the headphones onto my head. Problem solved. They’re playing a Bee Gees song on the radio. “Living in a World of Fools.” Appropriately enough. My night is saved. I have beer AND music.
I go to the restroom to splash some water on my face to help me sober up. Realize too late, I still had my glasses on. So now my glasses are soaked with water and I can’t see where I’m going.
Like I said. Alcoholism is a form of self-imposed stupidity.