Acid Heroes

October 6, 2015


Filed under: Backwords from Ace — Ace Backwords @ 9:31 pm
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Had an embarrassing accident the other morning.  I was in this crowded coffee shop on Shattuck Avenue getting my coffee.  And I’m usually a little woozy in the morning — one of those bi-products from waking up to 300-plus hangovers a year — and especially woozy before I’ve had my first cup of coffee.  Plus, I’m half-blind from the glaucoma.  So that also makes it difficult to navigate around.

So anyways, they have these small aisles in the coffee shop, in between all the tables and chairs.  And I’m walking towards the cream-and-sugar table with a cup of hot coffee in one hand and a cup of water in the other.  And the idiots also have this big couch in the middle of the room for people to lounge around on.  And (unbeknownst to me) the end of the couch juts out into the aisle.  So when I turned the corner I tripped over the end of the couch.

I went straight down, face-first.  That odd sensation where, one moment you’re walking around erect as a proud human being on the planet earth.  And the next moment you’re lying face-down in a puddle of coffee.  Fortunately, I’ve had a lot of experience falling down over the years (did I mention the 300-plus hangovers?).  So I landed with my elbows up, holding the coffee and water upright.  So I only spilled about a third of the coffee and none of the water.  So it could’ve been a lot worse.  I felt strangely proud of myself.  Story of my life.  I’m sort of a “quick klutz.”  I’ll often drop something with one hand, and catch it with the other hand.

But, needless to say, it was embarrassing, laying there on the floor in a puddle of coffee with everyone in the coffee shop staring at me.  “Hi, folks!” . . .  I still mostly blame them for the poor couch placement.  Bastards!




  1. You can sue for poor couch placement

    Comment by Head For The Hills — October 11, 2015 @ 4:20 pm | Reply

    • I did suffer extreme emotional and physical duress after the incidence. Even as they did compensate me for the one-third cup of coffee I spilled. Nothing could compensate for my Post Couch Stress Syndrome.

      Comment by Ace Backwords — October 11, 2015 @ 9:54 pm | Reply

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