Those bastard raccoons got me AGAIN last night at my campsite!
I had brought up a lot of restaurant food leftovers for my feral cats. A greasy, cheesey tortellini pasta dish and a big steak burrito. So I figured the smell of the food would attract the hairy beasts. And sure enough it did.
I also had a big bag of dry catfood in my backpack. Which the raccoons also really go for. So when I went to sleep, I used my backpack as a pillow. That way, if one of the raccoons tried to pull my backpack away from me (which they will surely do) I’ll wake up when my head hits the ground.
But I guess I was a little too slow on the up-keep. By the time I woke up the raccoons had already made off with my pack. “YOU BASTARDS!!!”
I put on my shoes and rushed down the hill in the darkness. The raccoons had left a trail of my stuff that they had pulled out of my pack. So that led me to where my pack was, about 30 yards down the hill.
But here’s the amazing part. The raccoons hadn’t been able to un-zip the main compartment of my backpack where the catfood was. So instead, they un-zipped the front compartment, pulled all the stuff out with their nimble, little fingers, and then chewed a hole in my pack so they could get to the food in the main compartment. . . I have to give the bastards points for ingenuity and cunning. They definitely have some smarts, them raccoons.
And fortunately, I had gotten to them before that had eaten much of the food. So I went back to sleep (with my pack securely beside me) and lived happily ever after. THE END.