Tips for today’s modern alcoholic


I don’t recommend alcoholism. Its an unhealthy lifestyle that can fuck up your world in countless ways. But for godssake. If you’re going to be an alcoholic. At least do it right.
 1.) When you start drinking. DON’T eat. That’s the most important tip I can give you. You’re already overloading your metabolism digesting all the alcohol. Don’t ask your system to break down all that food on top of that. Let the alcohol run through your system as simply and cleanly as possible.

2.) Be disciplined. Set aside times of the day when you’re sober. Like from when you wake up in the morning until around 6 in the evening. That gives you a window of opportunity where you can eat your food and take care of your business in a state of sobriety (as opposed to the demented alcoholic state).

3.) Don’t take tips or advice from some demented alcoholic lunatic who is giving you tips and advice on how to deal alcoholism.

4.) I’m drunk. I can’t think of a fourth tip.


One thought on “Tips for today’s modern alcoholic

  1. The part about disclipline tells me you are a hard drinker. Alcoholics who crossed the line from abuse to dependence have no discipline. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a bad habit that is wreaking havoc on your health though. That doesn’t mean you are not at risk to becoming dependent. That shit can creep up on you.

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