Today I go to the local Berkeley library, reserve a computer, I’m sitting in my cubicle looking at my computer minding my own business.
The guy in the cubicle next to me — a certifiable nut as I will soon find out — sticks his face into my cubicle.
“How ya doin’,” he says with a big smile.
“Fine,” I says.
He reaches into my cubicle and gives me a big friendly hug.
I smile back at him. Thinking maybe he’s somebody I know but can’t remember who he is.
He pushes his face into my cubicle again and starts talking to me. But I can’t hear a fucking word he’s saying. He’s talking so softly.
“Listen,” I says. “I can’t hear a word you’re saying. I’m hard of hearing. You have to talk louder.”
But he continues to blather at me in a silent pantomime.
“I can’t hear what you’re saying,” I repeat
So he takes a library book and pushes it into my cubicle. And starts writing some message on the page of the library book. He’s urgent to communicate SOMETHING to me. For some unknown reason.
“I just wanna log onto my computer but you’re in my way,” I says.
“SO YOU’VE BEEN LYING TO ME ALL ALONG??” he exclaims.
At this point I realize the guy in the cubicle next to me is completely insane. Like I said — and this is hardly breaking news — there are a lot of nutty people in this world.
He flashes me the two-fingered Mark of the Beast gesture, that devil’s horn thing that all the heavy metal dudes flash.
I put on my headphones and search for a YouTube link that might temporarily amuse me and help me ignore the fucking nut whoever he happens to be who happens to be in the cubicle next to me.