I just ran into yet another Serial Flusher. One of those nuts who goes into public restrooms and flushes the toilet over and over and over again. For no reason. I’m starting to think this is a more common form of mental illness than I realized. This is at least the fifth or sixth Serial Flusher I’ve run into over the last couple of years.
So I’m in the men’s room of the Student Union Building on the Berkeley campus, and this nut is in the far stall flushing the toilet over and over and over. I mean, if this wasn’t bad enough form generally, we’re now in the middle of a serious Drought here in California. And most people are doing whatever they can to preserve water to try and alleviate this crisis. Except for the useless sack of shit in the far stall who is getting his jollies from flushing the toilet over and over and wasting endless gallons of water for his dim-witted, demented kicks.
So I decided to fix this guy’s wagon. I’m standing at the sink and I suddenly announced in a loud voice:
“YES, OFFICER, THERE’S THIS NUT IN THE STALL OVER THERE WHO KEEPS FLUSHING THE TOILET OVER AND OVER!”
(And then in a lower voice) “OH REALLY? ANOTHER ONE OF THEM SERIAL FLUSHERS?”
“YES, OFFICER. RIGHT IN THAT STALL OVER THERE!”
(In a lower voice) “THANKS, SIR. WE’LL TAKE CARE OF THAT NUT AS SOON AS HE GETS OUT OF THE STALL! ”
The guy instantly stopped flushing the toilet. Silence. . .
So now the guy is sitting there in the stall. Cowering in fear. Expecting that he’s gonna get jumped by the cops, beaten with billy-clubs, and dragged off in handcuffs, as soon as he gets out of the stall. Ha ha. I really am a stinker.
What can I say. I’m just a good American doing whatever I can to help conserve water.