The Backwords Theory on the human personality


This one friend of mine drives me nuts. He does this to me constantly. I’ll be hanging out somewhere by myself, minding my own business, and he comes up to me with his latest new friend.

“Oh Ace, I want to introduce you to my friend So-and-So! He’s great people! I just know you two guys will really like each other and will really hit it off!!”

I’ve told my friend, oh, at least a DOZEN times: “Listen I’m a very reclusive person. I’m not comfortable around most people. And I DON’T want to meet any new people.”

And I certainly don’t want to meet any of the people he introduces me to. They’re invariably street ne’er-do-wells. The very people I go out of my way to avoid

“Oh. OK,” he says. “I understand.” Momentary comprehension. That lasts until the next time he sees me.

So I was just hanging out by myself on a bench in People’s Park. And here he comes. With his latest new friend in tow.

“Oh Ace do you know my friend So-and-So? He’s a great guy. And blah blah blah.”

Followed by the usual, awkward, uncomfortable exchange.

Then my friend asks me: “Do you have any cigarettes?”

“No. I quit after Hate Man died.”

“Oh man I gotta get some smokes. So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’ll leave my guitar here with you guys. And you guys can hang here while I go to 7-11.”

So it isn’t bad enough that he’s forced this total stranger on me. Now he’s dumping him on me.

“Uh, no, I gotta get up and catch the second half of the Jazz game,” I lied. I hurriedly gulped down the rest of my beer, put on my shoes and split. And I felt bad. Because I could tell the guy felt rejected. Because I WAS rejecting him. Which is exactly why I’ve told my friend, oh, at least a dozen times NOT to put me in these situations in the first place.

But it’s something I learned about human nature over the years. We never learn. We got these engrained basic characteristics. That make the same mistakes. Over and over. Until we die.

With rare exceptions.




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