1998 was an interesting year for me. I was at the peak of my powers.
I had spent the previous two years doing intense Kundalini Yoga meditation on a daily basis. So my mind was in a very high space. Clean and clear and powerful. Plus I had gone several years with no drugs or alcohol. So I was sharp as a tack.
And one of the odd bi-products of doing Kundalini Yoga. You pick up these weird spiritual powers. I suppose you could call them “occult powers.” Along the lines of the concept of: “Whatever you think will manifest.” (This concept would later lead to my spiritual downfall, but that’s another story)
Anyways, one hot summer night in 1998 I was hanging out on the corner of Telegraph & Bancroft with my bicycle, talking with a friend of mine, Jaguar. It had been nearly 100 degrees all day long, just sweltering heat, but it was 8 o’clock now and it was finally cooling off a little. So me and Jaguar were chilling.
When a car full of high school kids pulled up to the corner. Evidently they had been out joy-riding. Because one of the kids had this big plastic machine gun water pistol. And he suddenly stuck it out the window, pointed at me, and fired. And the blast of water was just about as powerful as a blast from a fireman’s hose. It almost knocked me and my bicycle over. And I was instantly soaked with water.
“HAW!! HAW!!” all the high school kids laughed.
And then they blasted their car engine and peeled rubber making a sharp left turn down Bancroft Avenue. Laughing all the way.
“I’m gonna get those fuckers?” I said.
“You’ll never catch them,” said Jaguar. “It’s impossible.”
And it looked hopeless. That stretch of Bancroft was 3 long blocks without a stop sign. And all downhill. And they were in a car and I was on a bicycle. And they had a head-start.
But I jumped on my bike and tore off after them anyways.
Then out of nowhere a cop car suddenly manifested. And he tore after them too, cop car lights flashing.
The cop car caught up to them a couple 100 yards down the road and pulled them over to the side of the road.
I pulled up shortly after on my bicycle and I was still so pissed I rushed at their car to confront them.
“BACK OFF!!” shouted the cop.
“Those fuckers blasted me with their water pistol,” I said.
“We’ll handle this,” said the cop.
Which they did. The kids ended up getting their car towed away by the cops. Which I’m sure cost them a pretty penny. And i got the satisfaction of staring them down with my “That’s what happens when you fuck with Ace Backwords” look. And they sure weren’t laughing and going HAW HAW at that point.
But that’s what it was like for me back in 1998. I always won. I always prevailed. Back then. It was like I had magic on my side.
It sure isnt like that NOW. Ha ha. *sigh*