Pretty quiet Christmas on the street scene. Aside from one ugly scene.
A car pulls up to People’s Park bearing donations. And you can always tell when there aren’t enough donations to go around, because the street people start sprinting towards the car from every direction (you never saw street people so motivated). Then they surround the car, gang swarm it. And everyone starts pushing and shoving and elbowing and jockeying for position, so they can get the goods before the goods run out.
But then this big, brassy street woman comes barreling into the crowd like a battering ram, shoving everybody out of her way, in pursuit of the holiday holy grail. But the weird thing was, as she’s knocking people aside to get to the front of the car, she kept repeating: “Excuse me.” “Excuse me.” “Excuse me.” I guess she wanted to let everyone know that she had good manners. Ha ha.
But evidently, after the lady had made her way to the front of the car and received her donation, whatever was in the bag wasn’t to her liking. Because she suddenly started angrily shouting and cursing at the top of her lungs. “GODDAMN FUCKING SHIT!!” and etc. Then she took her grocery bag full of stuff and slammed it on the ground and all of her stuff went splattering across the sidewalk. I guess she didn’t get what she wanted for Christmas.
So people start shouting and cursing back at her. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” and etc. And pretty soon everyone is jawing back and forth. But not to be outdone, the woman pulls down her pants, bends over, and moons the crowd, sharing her enormous ass with one and all (Christmas ’tis the season of sharing, after all).
“YOU ‘ALL CAN KISS MY BLACK ASS YOU MUTHA”FUCKIN’ HOS!!!”
That’s telling ’em.
Needless to say, it was another magic moment in my life..