Quick Klutz



I sometimes refer to myself as a “quick klutz.” Because I often do stupid things. But I’m also quick at reversing myself. Like sometimes I’ll accidentally drop something with my left hand, but I’ll catch it with my right hand. Stuff like that.

So anyways, today I was at the library and i like to drink my morning coffee while I’m on a computer. So I always sneak my to-go cup of coffee into the library in a black plastic bag, to hide it from the security guards and librarians. Now nobody ever told me you CAN’T drink coffee in the library. But I suspect they would frown on the practice. Because, well, some idiot might spill his coffee all over the table or the books or the computers.

So I go to the front desk to sign up for a computer. But when I put my cup of coffee on the counter, the bottom of the plastic bag wasn’t level and the cup tips over and all the coffee spills out onto the counter and spills down all over the floor. Making a big fucking mess.

But fortunately, a lot of the coffee spilled into the plastic bag. Which I quickly grabbed and held upright to prevent further spillage. And even more fortunately, I happened to have a bunch of paper towels in my back pocket. Which I used to quickly mop up all the coffee on the counter and the floor. And then I dumped the whole sopping mess into a nearby garbage can.

And I pulled the whole thing off so quickly and nonchalantly, that the three librarians standing behind the counter just a couple feet away from me, didn’t even notice me or what I had done.

Quick klutz.


2 thoughts on “Quick Klutz

  1. Just wondering if there’s a middle ? I’m gonna be 55 soon . Can’t stand job – can’t stand most of why goes on around me – not on FB – can’t stand the crap . Bought your book when I got into the 60s posters . Thinking of throwingl away but it seems like a pretty tough life – but I would love the freedom . And I have been living in cars but that was a long time ago.

    1. I always tell people who are considering hitting the streets: Don’t do it if you have other options. It can be real easy to end up on the streets. But it can be real difficult to get OFF the streets once you’re on them.

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