Further adventures on the public sidewalks of life



One of the many, many things in this life that annoys me. I’ll be walking down the street, and four guys come walking towards me walking side-by-side, taking up the whole sidewalk. And you can tell by their body language that they expect ME to get out of THEIR way. Its like Jerry Kramer and Fuzzy Thurston and the four Green Bay Packers offensive linemen coming at you with their legendary sweep blocking, ready to run you off the road.

Adding insult-to-injury is the underlying pack psychology of “There are four of us and only one of you, so YOU get out of OUR way, boy.”

Generally I’ll just figure, fuck it. And I’ll side-step them. Often walking into the gutter to get around them.

But every now and then I’ll be in a mood like, “Fuck it, now it’s YOUR turn to get out of MY way.” And I won’t cede the right-of-way. I’ll keep walking directly AT them. Like a guided middle.

At the last second the guy will realize: “Holy shit this asshole isn’t getting out of MY way.” And he’ll do a split-second side-step to avoid contact.

But every now and then I’ll blast right into the guy. Barrel into him and knock him out of my way. And since I’m the one who’s ready for the contact, and he’s the one being taken by surprise, I usually get the better end of the collision. Ha ha.

In this life you have to take your kicks where you find them.




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