Street “wars”



I go through some ridiculous situations. Periodically I’ll get locked into these “wars” with another street person. It’s almost inevitable. Because there are a lot of anti-social people on the street scene. And we all walk in the same small circles so we see each other over and over.

Back in 2009 I got into a “war” with this one guy. He had some kind of grudge against me, and was mouthing off to everyone on the scene about what an asshole I was, and accusing me of doing many terrible, terrible things, several of which were untrue (ha ha).

So one day I got right in his face and told him quite forcibly, in so many words, that it would be in his self-interests if he SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

Well he went running across the street and flagged down a cop. I could see him gesturing wildly with his arms, and his wide open mouth flapping back and forth (fortunately I couldn’t hear him), and occassionally he’d point his finger angrily at me.

So the cop comes trudging over to me and says in so many words: “I’ve had many interactions with this guy and they’ve all been unpleasant.” Which is cop-speak for: “Yeah we know the guy’s an asshole so we’re not gonna lift a finger to help him.”

So the next time I saw the guy, I got in his face again and ran him down the street (I learned that maneuver from my feral cats who resolve their disputes by running each other up a tree). Because few things piss me off more than somebody trying to sic the cops on me.

So he calls the cops on me AGAIN, claiming I was threatening him (who me?) and was a menace to society who should be locked into a cage for the protection of decent citizens (like himself).

So I got in his face AGAIN.

And he called the cops on me AGAIN.

And we went back and forth like that for at least a year. Every time he called the cops on me, I got in his face. And every time I got in his face, he called the cops on me. I forget how many times he called the cops on me. It might have been 20 or 30 times. Possibly a Berkeley record.

Finally I realized this is ridiculous. So I went up to, apologized, gave him a present as a peace offering. He shook my hand and said he “admired” me.

And that was pretty much that. We got along after that, didn’t cause each other any more problems, and i was proud of how we had resolved the situation like sensible, mature adults.

Until a couple years later when he did something else that pissed me off and we got locked in another “war” that went on for several more years. Ha ha.



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