A harrowing encounter with a sweet little old lady

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No good deed goes unpublished.

 

I remember this one time I was walking down the street and this frail-looking little old lady — sweet little thing — called out to me: “Would you help me get to the bus stop over there? My legs are too weak and I need someone to hold onto for support.”

“Sure thing,” I said. And I stood along side her so she could hold onto my shoulder and waist, and we started inching towards the bus stop.

“No not like THAT!!” she yelled at me. “Bend down lower so I can get a better grip, you stupid ass.”

“OK,” I said.

“No not THAT low, goddamit!! Stand up higher!!” she yelled again.

“Ooo- kay,” I said.

“Now slow down, you stupid fucking idiot!! You’re walking too fast!!”

“Not THAT slow, for crissakes, you idiot!!”

It went like that for the whole walk to the bus stop. Her cursing and haranguing me, no matter what I did. At one point I actually considered suddenly pulling away from her so she would topple over to the ground. But I was too much of a fucking idiot to do that.

When we got to the bus stop, needless to say she offered me no thanks. Just a gruff sneer. And I walked on my way.

When I was younger I just assumed that old people were wise and intelligent because of all the knowledge they accumulated over the years. But now that I’m old myself, I realize old people are the same assholes they were when they were young people. Just older.

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2 thoughts on “A harrowing encounter with a sweet little old lady

  1. Good Lord! The Vulnerable Nice Little Old Lady who needs help scam. Same incident in Vancouver – I played in differently. Old bitty comes up and says “Can you help me?” I’m like..”No!” and she asked “Why?” – big mistake. I said “Cause you’ve gotta help yourself!” I got a healthy “Fuck you” from the lady with the walker. But in this day and age, one has to err on the side of caution.

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