People often say: “You need to share your opinions on politics more often, Ace Backwords,” said nobody ever

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“And furthermore. . . “

People sometimes speculate on my politics. What am I ? Leftwing? Rightwing? Conservative? Liberal? So I thought I’d go down the list.

IMMIGRATION? I support securing our border, enforcing our immigration laws, and stopping illegal immigration: CONSERVATIVE

ABORTION? What a woman does with her body is her business and not mine: LIBERAL

GAY RIGHTS? What consenting adults do in the privacy of their homes is their right as long as they don’t cum in my mouth. LIBERAL

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION: Judging someone by the color of their skin is racism and that goes for reverse racism too. CONSERVATIVE

RACISM IN GENERAL: Every race has much to be proud of and much to be ashamed of. A “racist” is just someone who only looks at half of this equation. And that cuts left and right. COMMON SENSE

DEATH PENALTY: A rabid animal you put to sleep. As painlessly as possible. CONSERVATIVE

GUN CONTROL: There’s gotta be some way we can keep guns out of the hands of nuts and criminals but I’m not sure what that way is: LIBERAL..

THE MILITARY: Full benefits for all veterans. But slash the Pentagon budget and all that waste by 50%. LIBERAL

DRUG LAWS? Decriminalize all drugs. LIBERAL

OK??

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