Thinking about drinking

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Today is my third day without drinking. I’m hoping to quit drinking for 10 days. I like to do that every now and then. Just to make sure I still CAN quit drinking if I want to. Addictions can be a powerful thing, after all. So it’s good to try and exercise at least some control over it.

Also too, winter is coming on fast. And I’m already feeling a bit worn down. I need to build myself up for the rough months to come.

Also, too, excessive drinking can make a person feel a bit loopy in the head. For me personally, the strangest part about my alcoholism is the Dr. Jeckyll, Mr. Hyde aspect. I’m one person when I’m sober. And a completely different person when I’m drunk. So it can be hard to reconcile these two people in my one brain. Alcohol doesn’t make for much mental or emotional consistency, that’s for sure.

The hardest part for me — sobriety — is I miss the escape valve of alcohol. After a beer or four, all the pressure is off me. All the problems and worries and concerns of my daily life are magically — if only temporarily — lifted. So it’s like a big weight off my shoulders (until I wake up the next morning of course).

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