Acid Heroes

December 30, 2017

Looking back fondly on the year that was, 2017, from the Ace Backwords perspective

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JANUARY: Donald J. Trump is sworn in as the 43rd president of the United States of America.

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JANUARY: Massive rainstorms across the state of California — one of the wettest Januarys on record — result in the end (at least for the time being) of the Drought.

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JANUARY: As predicted by virtually all the polls, political pundits, and media experts, Hillary Clinton wins the presidency by a landslide in an alternate universe.

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FEBRUARY: Milo Somethingorother — a boring political gadfly who apparently makes a living saying stupid things to upset people — attempts to give a speech on the Berkeley campus and is shut down by massive protests, violence, fires, and destructive of property.

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FEBRUARY: The Mario Savio Free Speech Plaza is officially re-named the No Free Speech For Fascists or People Saying Stuff I Disagree With Plaza.

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MARCH: Rightwing Conservatives attempt to hold a rally in downtown Berkeley, and are met with massive resistance and street-fighting violence, and the likes of “Moldy Locks,” the “Stickman,” and Antifa get their 5 minutes of fame.

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MARCH: Taco Bell opens up a franchise in Berkeley. Millions rejoice.

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APRIL: Legendary Berkeley street person, the Hate Man, transcends.

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APRIL: Ace Backwords takes yet another, in a seemingly endless series of, selfies.

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APRIL: The feral cats continue to mostly lay around and goof off.

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APRIL: I finally decide to cut off the goofy wings on the sneakers I had been wearing for months.

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APRIL: Life goes on.

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APRIL: People’s Park makes it to 48 years old.

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APRIL: President Trump continues to govern the land with a firm, even hand.

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MAY: The liberal media continues it’s fair and balanced coverage of the Trump presidency.

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MAY: One final casualty of the long and wet Rainy Season of 2016-2017 (ended up with a total of 37 inches in Berkeley): A water-logged tree on the Berkeley campus collapses and dies.

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MAY: Ace Backwords continues to slack off and fade away.

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JUNE: Fatty the feral cat, is banished from the tribe after losing a territorial pissing war with Mini Scaredy, the alpha female of the tribe.

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JUNE: Two of the guys who had been running the ill-fated Ghost Ship wharehouse, are arrested and charged with 36 counts of involuntary manslaughter for the 36 people killed in the fire during a rave.

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AUGUST: People’s Park, for all its faults and shortcomings, still remains as a fairly cool place.

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AUGUST: Feral cats, mostly still just goofing off.

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AUGUST The city of Berkeley honors the great man, that asshole Hate Man.

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AUGUST: Julia Vinograd is spotted on Telegraph Avenue.

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SEPTEMBER: Mini Owl, the beloved one-and-a-half year old feral cat, disappears never to be seen again. *sigh*

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SEPTEMBER: An unexpected visitor shows up at my campsite.

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SEPTEMBER Record heat wave in the Bay Area with temperatures reaching 108 in San Francisco. Meanwhile, the Berkeley street people handle the situation with their usual aplomb.

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SEPTEMBER: Ace Backwords is honored with a plaque, a statue, and a set of commemorative dinner plates.

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SEPTEMBER: Milo Whatshisname heroically returns to Berkeley, and, thanks to about a $million dollars worth of police protection, is finally able to give a 20 minute speech on Sproul Plaza, where he mouthed some dull slogans and canned one-liners to a rapt audience of about 30 people.

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SEPTEMBER: Berkeley reaffirms its commitment to free speech, though it wasn’t actually free since it ended up costing the City about a $million.

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SEPTEMBER: Further proof of the existence of God.

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SEPTEMBER: Against all odds, Fatty the feral cat manages to sneak back to my campsite and resume her rightful position as a member of the tribe.

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OCTOBER: Feral cats? Still slacking off.

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OCTOBER: The Baby Boomer Generation continues it’s long and impressive march on the way to oblivion.

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OCTOBER: Major media mogul Harvey Weintein creates yet another multi-media sensation and inspires a new movement in America..

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OCTOBER: Massive wildfires in Northern California cause incredible tragedies. *sigh*

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OCTOBER: Super hero movies continue to rake in big bucks at the box-office, proving that the genre is no flash in the pan.

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OCTOBER: The cats finally decide it’s time to quit slacking off, to get organized, and take bold, direct action.

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OCTOBER: Donald Trump’s popularity soars during the Halloween holiday.

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OCTOBER: Moo Cat — the elder statesman of the feral cat tribe — turns 9 years old, but remains as ornery as ever.

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NOVEMBER: Senator Al Franken makes one joke too many.

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DECEMBER: Christmas 2017 comes and goes, and it looks like another year is pretty much shot to hell. HAPPY NEW YEARS everybody!!

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