People often say: “You need to share your opinions on politics more often, Ace Backwords,” said nobody ever

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“And furthermore. . . “

People sometimes speculate on my politics. What am I ? Leftwing? Rightwing? Conservative? Liberal? So I thought I’d go down the list.

IMMIGRATION? I support securing our border, enforcing our immigration laws, and stopping illegal immigration: CONSERVATIVE

ABORTION? What a woman does with her body is her business and not mine: LIBERAL

GAY RIGHTS? What consenting adults do in the privacy of their homes is their right as long as they don’t cum in my mouth. LIBERAL

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION: Judging someone by the color of their skin is racism and that goes for reverse racism too. CONSERVATIVE

RACISM IN GENERAL: Every race has much to be proud of and much to be ashamed of. A “racist” is just someone who only looks at half of this equation. And that cuts left and right. COMMON SENSE

DEATH PENALTY: A rabid animal you put to sleep. As painlessly as possible. CONSERVATIVE

GUN CONTROL: There’s gotta be some way we can keep guns out of the hands of nuts and criminals but I’m not sure what that way is: LIBERAL..

THE MILITARY: Full benefits for all veterans. But slash the Pentagon budget and all that waste by 50%. LIBERAL

DRUG LAWS? Decriminalize all drugs. LIBERAL


Political issues

Spread Anarchy!

I enjoy having political opinions.  It’s a great way to make new enemies.  And it’s great for weeding out people who we’d both probably be better off not having in our lives.

So it’s frustrating to me when there are certain “hot button” issues that a lot of people get all excited about, but that I have a hard time coming up with opinions on.  I feel like I’m missing out on the action or something.  For instance:

1.)  GUN CONTROL:  I’m all for keeping guns out of the hands of criminals and the mentally-unstable, but I have no idea how to do that.

2.)  ABORTION: If you want an abortion, have one. If you don’t, then don’t.  Aside from that, I can’t think of anything else to say.

3.)  BALANCE THE BUDGET:  When I can wrap my head around a figure like “100 trillion dollars” I’ll get back to you on this one.

4.)  IRAN’S NUCLEAR PROGRAM:  The nuclear tooth paste is out of the tube.  Getting it back into the tube poses certain logistical problems beyond my ken.

5.)  OBAMA-CARE:  I spent 40 years where I almost never went to a doctor.  So I have no idea what our current health care system is all about, aside from the fact that it seems like a mess.  So I have no idea whether Obama-care is an improvement or not.  Generally speaking, I’m not in favor of the government taking over about 10% of our economy in one fell swoop, considering their general level of incompetency, as well as all the greedhead/whores at every level of the bureaucracy.  But who the hell knows.

6.)  DRUGS:  No matter what anybody says, the prices keep going up.