So I buy 11 dollars worth of groceries at Walgreen’s. And as I’m at the exit I put the bag down so I can put on my jacket. And then I walk up to the campus. But when I get to my stash spot on the campus where I want to stash some of the cat food in the bag, I realize — to my chagrin — that I am no longer carrying my bag of groceries.
Utilizing my sharp mind and impressive deductive reasoning abilities I conclude that I have stupidly LEFT THE FUCKING BAG BACK AT WALGREEN’S!!!
So I rush back down there as fast as I can (which isn’t very fast) and I realize — miraculously — the bag is still sitting there, and it’s sat there for an entire 40 minutes without some bum stealing it.
So now I’m happy, I got some good exercise (almost broke a sweat) and hopefully I burned off a little bit of this darn beer gut. The End