The weather in Berkeley has been sweaty and sweltering lately. And I guess it’s starting to get to me. Because I’m lacking my usual cheerful disposition (ha ha).
So I go to sit down on this empty bench on the campus. There’s one of those hard-plastic reusable water bottles sitting on the bench. On the part of the bench that’s shaded where I want to sit. So I put the bottle on the ledge behind the bench so I can sit there. This guy — who is standing clear on the OTHER side of the plaza walks over and scolds me.
“You shouldn’t be moving other people’s stuff,” he said.
“How was I supposed to know it was somebody’s stuff?” I said. “Something left sitting on an empty bench, I just assumed it was discarded.” (PS. I find these discarded water bottles ALL the time.)
“Most people wouldn’t think that way,” he corrected me.
“Most normal people WOULD think that way,” I corrected him.
“That’s just your opinion,” he said.
“And that’s just YOUR opinion,” I said.
“No it isn’t, it’s the truth,” he said.
“Good one,” I said. “HAH!!” I gave him a good blast of the patented Ace Backwords Snort of Derision as he shuffled off into the sunset.
But that bit always kills me. MY perspective is “opinion.” While HIS perspective is “truth.” HAH!! (ha ha)
Later I notice he has a bicycle with a “JESUS IS LORD” sign attached to it, and he’s handing out Jesus fliers. Geez. If I had known he was such a great man I would have been much more respectful.
I enjoy having political opinions. It’s a great way to make new enemies. And it’s great for weeding out people who we’d both probably be better off not having in our lives.
So it’s frustrating to me when there are certain “hot button” issues that a lot of people get all excited about, but that I have a hard time coming up with opinions on. I feel like I’m missing out on the action or something. For instance:
1.) GUN CONTROL: I’m all for keeping guns out of the hands of criminals and the mentally-unstable, but I have no idea how to do that.
2.) ABORTION: If you want an abortion, have one. If you don’t, then don’t. Aside from that, I can’t think of anything else to say.
3.) BALANCE THE BUDGET: When I can wrap my head around a figure like “100 trillion dollars” I’ll get back to you on this one.
4.) IRAN’S NUCLEAR PROGRAM: The nuclear tooth paste is out of the tube. Getting it back into the tube poses certain logistical problems beyond my ken.
5.) OBAMA-CARE: I spent 40 years where I almost never went to a doctor. So I have no idea what our current health care system is all about, aside from the fact that it seems like a mess. So I have no idea whether Obama-care is an improvement or not. Generally speaking, I’m not in favor of the government taking over about 10% of our economy in one fell swoop, considering their general level of incompetency, as well as all the greedhead/whores at every level of the bureaucracy. But who the hell knows.
6.) DRUGS: No matter what anybody says, the prices keep going up.