So there I was sitting there minding my own business. . .

Boy I must be a little more spaced-out than usual this afternoon. Because I just did something really stupid that could have gotten me in a lot of trouble.

I had to go to the bathroom, so I went into this building on the Berkeley campus and I walked around in the halls for awhile until I spotted a restroom. So I darted in there and I darted into the stall. And I’m sitting there like I had done thousands of times before. When I noticed this little garbage bin on the floor of the stall. That struck me as odd because in all these years I had never seen a garbage bin on the floor of a restroom stall before. But I didn’t think much more about. Though that was my first inkling that perhaps all was not right in the world of Backwords.

But the more I sat there, and the more I looked at that little bin, the odder it seemed. So on a hunch I opened up the door of the stall and took a quick look around the restroom. And the first thing I noticed was that there were no urinals in the restroom. Using my razor-sharp powers of deductive reasoning I instantly concluded that I was most definitely in the wrong place at the wrong time.

So I pulled my pants on and got my ass (literally) out of there as fast as I could. And fortunately there was nobody loitering around in the hallway as I made my grand exit. Because that could have been big trouble for yours truly. I would have had some explaining to do.

On the other hand if the UC cops had busted me for being a pervert I could have claimed I was a transgender and sued the University for sexual discrimination and mental duress, and maybe I would have even won a big cash settlement. Though I probably would have had to walk around for several months wearing a dress and lipstick if I really wanted to make my case.